This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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