let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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