I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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