peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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