you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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