I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
