Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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