Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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