6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
well you can't waste a boner
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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