One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I wish there were birth control emojis
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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