so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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