i think my mom watched the whole time
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Four minutes until I can fart!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
