my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
