my sisters under your porch take her home
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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