If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
