"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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