This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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