Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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