i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
