Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
