Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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