After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
