I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
