Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
