i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
