I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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