Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
