I have demons in me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
