Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You made out with two different species that night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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