i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
