And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
