and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
