He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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