I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
