She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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