How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
zippers are such a cool invention
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
