u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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