But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My bed smells like the plague
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
