If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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