I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
