But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
