I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
