is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
