I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
