I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
