He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
