The best revenge is premature balding
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
