The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
don't judge my taste in strippers
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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