I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
COCAINE IS GR8
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