called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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