honey bunches of taint.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
