there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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