at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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