do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
