you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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