Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
