Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
