My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
